tGirl_Eva
09-16-2008, 01:44 AM
Warning: It is very likely that you will read this story, laugh, and then realize its making fun of you and people just like you. If you cannot laugh at yourself, stop reading now.
-----
Desperado
Joshua liked pussy. A lot. He couldn't get enough pussy, actually. Everywhere he went he saw women. Some were beautiful, some were mediocre, and some were bag-worthy. It didn't matter. He wanted to fuck each and every one of them. If it had a pussy, he wanted to fuck it. He even thought about ,fucking a sheep once, after he found out that sheep had human-like pussies--but he decided better of it. That would make me a pervert!, he said.
One day, Joshua was shopping at the shopping mall for new towels, since he had stained all of his with cum after sitting at his computer masturbating all day long. He didn't want to buy new towels, really--a stained towel was still a towel--but he reeeeeeeeaally wanted to fuck the towel salesgirl. He could just imagine her delectable pussy...did she shave it? Was it a natural bush? A landing strip? Could she squirt? He just HAD to know.
So, he approached her.
"Which towel is the softest?" he asked her. She bent waaaaaay over to the bottom shelf, her short skirt stretched tight over her ample, round ass. His boner almost started doing a jig in his pants.
"These ones are soooooo sofft," she said in a sultry voice, holding up a big, pink, fluffy towel. Joshua wondered if that was the color of her pussy. "I'll take it!" he said. While she was ringing him up, she gave him the once over, met his eyes and gave him a sly smile. Her soft, pale skin, pink lips, and dark sea-blue eyes made him want to fuck her even harder. With a trembling voice, he asked her if she wanted to go for a drink that very night. She answered by sliding her address across the countertop and walking away, her heels clicking, her heavenly ass swaying like a palm tree in the bahama breeze.
That night, Joshua wore his lucky boxers, his lucky pants, his lucky shoes, his lucky socks, his lucky watch, his lucky shirt and carried his lucky six-fingered monkey paw in his pocket. His outfit was horrible, polka-dots over stripes with brown and pink and green colors etching their way over him in what could have been patterns or could have been mystery stains. With a hop in his step and a pocketful of condoms, he strutted out to his Yugo and hopped in, calling "bye, Mom! I'll be home late!"
He was absolutely, 100% he was going to get fucked tonight, and he was grinning ear to ear.
As hard as Joshua tried, he couldn't remember towelgirl's name. He couldn't stop staring at her ample tits, even though she was wearing a turtleneck, and even more, he couldn't stop thinking about her sweet, juicy pussy that he'd be fucking oh-so-soon. In his head, he just called her "Busty LePussylips". She was talking about something or other, but all he was thinking about was that sweet, sweet snatch.
The time had finally come. They stood in her bedroom. He was naked, and she had come out of the bathroom. She was wearing a pink chiffon nighty and a little pink g-string.
"Lay on the bed," she says, in a deep, silky voice. Eaglerly he complies. he lets his eyes close as she climbs on top of him, her soft hands sliding up his arms, gripping his wrists...his cock throbbing, aching. Here it comes!, he though. I'm finally going to get some real, live pussy!
Then, he heard a strange click and felt something cold on his wrists. His eyes shot open as he realized she had cuffed him to the bed! Before he knew what was going on, a leather harness blocked his vision and secured an O-Ring gag in his mouth. Finally, he felt her hands push his ankles--my god, she was strong!--to his wrists, where he heard another click.
He knew what was going to happen a moment before it did. Cool gel on his exposed, virgin asshole. He could not move.
And then, she entered him. He didn't know if it was a real cock or not. She fucked him wildly, as he cried and screamed, but it made no use. When he made too much noise, she jammed her cock down his throat. "Good thing you brought your monkey paw!" she was saying, cackling.
Finally, he felt hot jets of sticky cum shooting into his mouth. Thank god it's over, he thought. But then he heard one last click.
He knew what it was, just from the cold meta he felt against his cock. A cock cage. And it was locked on.
She threw him, nude, wearing only her panties, into the worst side of town from a moving van. Joshua couldn't help lament his situation, but at least he had been right about one thing, after all. He certainly would be fucked tonight--100%.
Joshua died a poor, lonely virgin about seventy minutes later.
The End.
-----
Desperado
Joshua liked pussy. A lot. He couldn't get enough pussy, actually. Everywhere he went he saw women. Some were beautiful, some were mediocre, and some were bag-worthy. It didn't matter. He wanted to fuck each and every one of them. If it had a pussy, he wanted to fuck it. He even thought about ,fucking a sheep once, after he found out that sheep had human-like pussies--but he decided better of it. That would make me a pervert!, he said.
One day, Joshua was shopping at the shopping mall for new towels, since he had stained all of his with cum after sitting at his computer masturbating all day long. He didn't want to buy new towels, really--a stained towel was still a towel--but he reeeeeeeeaally wanted to fuck the towel salesgirl. He could just imagine her delectable pussy...did she shave it? Was it a natural bush? A landing strip? Could she squirt? He just HAD to know.
So, he approached her.
"Which towel is the softest?" he asked her. She bent waaaaaay over to the bottom shelf, her short skirt stretched tight over her ample, round ass. His boner almost started doing a jig in his pants.
"These ones are soooooo sofft," she said in a sultry voice, holding up a big, pink, fluffy towel. Joshua wondered if that was the color of her pussy. "I'll take it!" he said. While she was ringing him up, she gave him the once over, met his eyes and gave him a sly smile. Her soft, pale skin, pink lips, and dark sea-blue eyes made him want to fuck her even harder. With a trembling voice, he asked her if she wanted to go for a drink that very night. She answered by sliding her address across the countertop and walking away, her heels clicking, her heavenly ass swaying like a palm tree in the bahama breeze.
That night, Joshua wore his lucky boxers, his lucky pants, his lucky shoes, his lucky socks, his lucky watch, his lucky shirt and carried his lucky six-fingered monkey paw in his pocket. His outfit was horrible, polka-dots over stripes with brown and pink and green colors etching their way over him in what could have been patterns or could have been mystery stains. With a hop in his step and a pocketful of condoms, he strutted out to his Yugo and hopped in, calling "bye, Mom! I'll be home late!"
He was absolutely, 100% he was going to get fucked tonight, and he was grinning ear to ear.
As hard as Joshua tried, he couldn't remember towelgirl's name. He couldn't stop staring at her ample tits, even though she was wearing a turtleneck, and even more, he couldn't stop thinking about her sweet, juicy pussy that he'd be fucking oh-so-soon. In his head, he just called her "Busty LePussylips". She was talking about something or other, but all he was thinking about was that sweet, sweet snatch.
The time had finally come. They stood in her bedroom. He was naked, and she had come out of the bathroom. She was wearing a pink chiffon nighty and a little pink g-string.
"Lay on the bed," she says, in a deep, silky voice. Eaglerly he complies. he lets his eyes close as she climbs on top of him, her soft hands sliding up his arms, gripping his wrists...his cock throbbing, aching. Here it comes!, he though. I'm finally going to get some real, live pussy!
Then, he heard a strange click and felt something cold on his wrists. His eyes shot open as he realized she had cuffed him to the bed! Before he knew what was going on, a leather harness blocked his vision and secured an O-Ring gag in his mouth. Finally, he felt her hands push his ankles--my god, she was strong!--to his wrists, where he heard another click.
He knew what was going to happen a moment before it did. Cool gel on his exposed, virgin asshole. He could not move.
And then, she entered him. He didn't know if it was a real cock or not. She fucked him wildly, as he cried and screamed, but it made no use. When he made too much noise, she jammed her cock down his throat. "Good thing you brought your monkey paw!" she was saying, cackling.
Finally, he felt hot jets of sticky cum shooting into his mouth. Thank god it's over, he thought. But then he heard one last click.
He knew what it was, just from the cold meta he felt against his cock. A cock cage. And it was locked on.
She threw him, nude, wearing only her panties, into the worst side of town from a moving van. Joshua couldn't help lament his situation, but at least he had been right about one thing, after all. He certainly would be fucked tonight--100%.
Joshua died a poor, lonely virgin about seventy minutes later.
The End.